Phenomenology of a Flutist

Phenomenology of a Flutist

by Kristy Leah O. Hernandez

            I always find joy in music, may be it in forms of listening to good melodies, enjoying the symphony of orchestras, the loud and roughness of bands, and most of all the sweet melancholic tune my flute exudes whenever I play it. Touching the soft curves of the plastic recorder flute, placing my fingers religiously on the note holes, and as the mouthpiece gently lay on my lips; I feel a certain joy that runs from the tips of my little fingers to the innermost part of my heart. 

            As I start to produce enough amounts of breaths unto the mouthpiece, slowly creating a tune, slowly I moved my fingers around the holes producing the perfect music. As the music goes on, memories of my life instantly played before me while I playing the flute with closed eyes. Upon closing my eyes, the world around me seems to become of a different setting, as the music enters my very core, and simultaneously creating vivid images of my past and all the memories, at one point, while still closing my eyes, subtle tears pass through my cheeks that my playing a little distracted.

            Whenever those memories come to life in my head, one memory that’s closest to my heart was when for the first time I played in my school. At first, I was very reluctant and shy with heavy sweat on my back creating smudges on my shirt. The time has come for my performance and I remember perfectly well that I had a struggle in playing it correctly with my hand literally shaking in amazement at the time fright.

            The experience was both fulfilling and at the same time somewhat embarrassing. Fulfillments because it was win on my part for I played perfectly well during the performance and also for the people hearing my music. It was also embarrassing though because people saw me shaking in front and I showed fright almost half of the time.

            Looking back upon those experiences, it came to me that not only I honed my skills in playing the flute by myself but most of all on how to endure pressure from the outside and overcoming my fright.